typing thru the tears
As many know my mom-in-law has been having some problems and fell and broke her leg. Last Wednesday she was transported to the doctor from the nursing home to get an update on her leg. The plan was for Jerry, Jerry's dad and me to all ride with her in the wheelchair transport to the doctor's office because we knew that the doctor was going to tell her that her leg needs to be amputated from the knee down 
We got there a little bit around 10am and knew that the transport would be showing up at 10:30-ish. Jerry's dad, Jerry Sr. wasn't there...Jerry decided that he would go with his mom as she would be upset about the news and I would go find Jerry Sr. (he is known to have car problems at the most inopportune times) I was a little worried but I drove over to the house and noticed the van wasn't really pulled into the drive well. It seemed crooked to me. I knew right at that point that something was not right. I went to the door and started knocking very loud as Jerry Sr is deaf. Buddy the dog was barking his little heart out but no answer. I started knocking harder and decided to try hitting a pole on all the windows around the house so that Jerry Sr. could hear me trying to get a hold of him. 15 minutes pass and no luck...Jerry still on the phone with me and I'm asking him if I should break in when the neighbors notice that I'm having problems. James and Patty, Jerry's parents neighbors who have helped them out the past month helped me break into the house and unlock the door. James and I notice that the bathroom door is closed and can hear the shower running. He opened the door and screamed "Oh my God, Call 911!". Tears and adrenaline flooded into me and I told Jerry that I needed to call 911 and I would call him back. It seemed to take Rescue forever to get there but in all actuality it was about 2-3 minutes. Jerry Sr. was unconscious in the tub, with the water flowing but his head was resting on the side. Patty held him and talked to him as I stayed on the line with both 911 and Jerry. After Rescue arrived I quickly gathered Jerry Sr's wallet and followed him to the nearest hospital. More tearful calls from both Jerry and his sister Melissa as I waited in the ER.
Meanwhile at the doctor's office Jerry's mom, Joyce had learned that her leg indeed did have to be amputated but because of what was going on they would wait on us to schedule it. Jerry rode back with her to the nursing home and took a cab to the hospital.
Waiting rooms.....I've decided I don't really like them. Too much time in them recently. I do want to thank the compassionate strangers in the waiting room that reassured me and passed me tissues. We all got to know each other and I hope their families are well.
Jerry arrives and we go back to see his dad to discover that he has had a massive stroke that effected his entire left half of his brain and that his right side was completely paralyzed. This meant that he would never be able to be breathe, eat on his own. After sitting with him for hours we headed to tell Jerry's mom the update. Ugh...no one should ever have to tell someone that their spouse of 46 years has suffered such a terrible stroke. She was heartbroken.
After a day of family visiting and many decisions back and forth, Jerry's family decided that Jerry Sr wouldn't want to be sitting on life support and not being able to engage in the things he loved: Sports, eatting M&M's, Taking care of the pets, the list goes on. A tough decision. On Friday, late morning they took him off the ventilator. After about 30 minutes to see how he would respond, they moved him over to the Hospice Center into a very comfy room. Jerry and I were impressed by how wonderful the people at Hospice were/are. Truly angels!
Saturday, Jerry Sr is holding on. It was Joyce's birthday and we all prayed that he would hold on until after her birthday so she wouldn't have that memory on her birthday. Jerry and I went up to sit with him during the Jaguar Pre-Season football game. I don't know if it was coincidence or that he knew what was going on but just about kick off time he started to vocalize. It seemed every time the Jags did well he would get excited. Very upsetting for me....we left at halftime, emotionally and physically exhausted. We just wanted to go to bed.
...But we didn't. Neither of us were able to calm down. We both were feeling anxious and never got around to actually going to bed. It's like we knew that something was going to happen. About 1am, Hospice called and told us that Jerry Sr. had taken a turn for the worse. Jerry called his sister Melissa and we scrambled to get out the door to drive through Tropical Storm Fay so that we could be with Jerry Sr. When we arrived, a nurse was holding his hand and said he was still with us.
It was peaceful. I'm so glad that Jerry got to be with him. I thought that I would be hysterical but I wasn't. I'm feel privileged to have stood by Jerry's side as he said goodbye to his father.
Seconds after he passed, Melissa arrived, terribly upset. I understand, I don't know if I could stand seeing my dad pass either.
I think we ended up staying in the room with him for nearly 45 minutes, chatting and crying and even laughing at times. Melissa and her friend, Mary went home and Jerry talked to the nurses about what happened next. I think we got home around 3am and to sleep about 3:30...
It's been a blur of activity since then. Funeral arrangements to make, trying to get Jerry Power of Attorney so he can take care of his mom's finances while she is in the nursing home. Tip on that: Make sure that if you are married that all property is jointly owned or that you have a will stating who gets what. Also if you have a grown child, you might want to put them on your bank accounts. This is especially true if one of the parents has poor health. Between Jerry, Melissa, Mary and myself I think we have it all set.
Services will be held at George H. Hewell and Son Funeral Home at 4747 N. Main Street, Jacksonville, FL 32206. The viewing will be Wednesday August 27th from 6pm until 8pm. The memorial service will be Thursday August 29th at 10am. The family will then travel to Oakey Grove Cemetary in Georgia for the interment ceremony at 2pm. A small reception will follow at Open Door Baptist Church at 3pm.
Thank you to all of you that sent us well wishes and prayers. We appreciate them!
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We got there a little bit around 10am and knew that the transport would be showing up at 10:30-ish. Jerry's dad, Jerry Sr. wasn't there...Jerry decided that he would go with his mom as she would be upset about the news and I would go find Jerry Sr. (he is known to have car problems at the most inopportune times) I was a little worried but I drove over to the house and noticed the van wasn't really pulled into the drive well. It seemed crooked to me. I knew right at that point that something was not right. I went to the door and started knocking very loud as Jerry Sr is deaf. Buddy the dog was barking his little heart out but no answer. I started knocking harder and decided to try hitting a pole on all the windows around the house so that Jerry Sr. could hear me trying to get a hold of him. 15 minutes pass and no luck...Jerry still on the phone with me and I'm asking him if I should break in when the neighbors notice that I'm having problems. James and Patty, Jerry's parents neighbors who have helped them out the past month helped me break into the house and unlock the door. James and I notice that the bathroom door is closed and can hear the shower running. He opened the door and screamed "Oh my God, Call 911!". Tears and adrenaline flooded into me and I told Jerry that I needed to call 911 and I would call him back. It seemed to take Rescue forever to get there but in all actuality it was about 2-3 minutes. Jerry Sr. was unconscious in the tub, with the water flowing but his head was resting on the side. Patty held him and talked to him as I stayed on the line with both 911 and Jerry. After Rescue arrived I quickly gathered Jerry Sr's wallet and followed him to the nearest hospital. More tearful calls from both Jerry and his sister Melissa as I waited in the ER.
Meanwhile at the doctor's office Jerry's mom, Joyce had learned that her leg indeed did have to be amputated but because of what was going on they would wait on us to schedule it. Jerry rode back with her to the nursing home and took a cab to the hospital.
Waiting rooms.....I've decided I don't really like them. Too much time in them recently. I do want to thank the compassionate strangers in the waiting room that reassured me and passed me tissues. We all got to know each other and I hope their families are well.
Jerry arrives and we go back to see his dad to discover that he has had a massive stroke that effected his entire left half of his brain and that his right side was completely paralyzed. This meant that he would never be able to be breathe, eat on his own.
After sitting with him for hours we headed to tell Jerry's mom the update. Ugh...no one should ever have to tell someone that their spouse of 46 years has suffered such a terrible stroke. She was heartbroken.After a day of family visiting and many decisions back and forth, Jerry's family decided that Jerry Sr wouldn't want to be sitting on life support and not being able to engage in the things he loved: Sports, eatting M&M's, Taking care of the pets, the list goes on. A tough decision. On Friday, late morning they took him off the ventilator. After about 30 minutes to see how he would respond, they moved him over to the Hospice Center into a very comfy room. Jerry and I were impressed by how wonderful the people at Hospice were/are. Truly angels!
Saturday, Jerry Sr is holding on. It was Joyce's birthday and we all prayed that he would hold on until after her birthday so she wouldn't have that memory on her birthday. Jerry and I went up to sit with him during the Jaguar Pre-Season football game. I don't know if it was coincidence or that he knew what was going on but just about kick off time he started to vocalize. It seemed every time the Jags did well he would get excited. Very upsetting for me....we left at halftime, emotionally and physically exhausted. We just wanted to go to bed.
...But we didn't. Neither of us were able to calm down. We both were feeling anxious and never got around to actually going to bed. It's like we knew that something was going to happen. About 1am, Hospice called and told us that Jerry Sr. had taken a turn for the worse. Jerry called his sister Melissa and we scrambled to get out the door to drive through Tropical Storm Fay so that we could be with Jerry Sr. When we arrived, a nurse was holding his hand and said he was still with us.
It was peaceful. I'm so glad that Jerry got to be with him. I thought that I would be hysterical but I wasn't. I'm feel privileged to have stood by Jerry's side as he said goodbye to his father.
Seconds after he passed, Melissa arrived, terribly upset. I understand, I don't know if I could stand seeing my dad pass either.
I think we ended up staying in the room with him for nearly 45 minutes, chatting and crying and even laughing at times. Melissa and her friend, Mary went home and Jerry talked to the nurses about what happened next. I think we got home around 3am and to sleep about 3:30...
It's been a blur of activity since then. Funeral arrangements to make, trying to get Jerry Power of Attorney so he can take care of his mom's finances while she is in the nursing home. Tip on that: Make sure that if you are married that all property is jointly owned or that you have a will stating who gets what. Also if you have a grown child, you might want to put them on your bank accounts. This is especially true if one of the parents has poor health. Between Jerry, Melissa, Mary and myself I think we have it all set.
Services will be held at George H. Hewell and Son Funeral Home at 4747 N. Main Street, Jacksonville, FL 32206. The viewing will be Wednesday August 27th from 6pm until 8pm. The memorial service will be Thursday August 29th at 10am. The family will then travel to Oakey Grove Cemetary in Georgia for the interment ceremony at 2pm. A small reception will follow at Open Door Baptist Church at 3pm.
Thank you to all of you that sent us well wishes and prayers. We appreciate them!
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Jeanne, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know Jerry is grateful to have such a wonderful, strong wife by his side to help him during this difficult time.
ReplyDelete((HUGS))