Do overs!!

Ugh...that's the best way I can describe how I'm feeling. Several things have just made this day very weird and not much fun.

First was my test. This was the first written exam in my ASL class. We had to watch a video and then transcribe what we saw. The video was really quick and I just didn't get it. My professor saw I was upset and stopped the exam and asked "what was wrong?" I went on to explain that it just went to fast and figured that was that. So then the little chicky who copies my work chimes in. "Oh..I got it. Miss Know-it-all didn't get but I did". My jaw hit the floor. The only thing I could say at that point was "I feel the love today" From that point on I was just pissed. So then other people were complaining about how fast the tape was going and the professor let them just do the next sentence and not to worry. what the hell!!

So the test is over and we have 30 minutes of class that I assume we'll be going over the tons of homework we had due. NOPE!! She said we had worked hard and to go home. That's nice if you didn't have another class. So I was stuck at college for 2 hours waiting for my next class. So I go to the lounge and thought I'd pull my Ebook out and read. Nope..PDA was dead. UGH!

In walks a classmate from my next class. We get talking and suddenly it's like a Therapy session. Why do people tell me very personal things? I must seem very approachable. This isn't the first time someone out of the blue has told me that they have tried to commit suicide recently. So we talked for nearly 90 minutes. THANKFULLY another classmate came in and she decided to go home instead of going to class. whew

I got home and started talking to Jerry about when we were 20. I had a period of time in my life that I wanted to die. But never like that. It was more of a praying that I would die in my sleep to stop the abuse from happening. There has only been one other time that I thought about hurting myself and looking at that recent behavior I know it wasn't right..but it just was.

Hmm...maybe I've said too much. I'm an open book but I know that sometimes reading this stuff is a little creepy. Ah well...my fingers are getting tired anyway.

Comments

  1. Hey, it's ok, we all have our weird days and awkward moments, I've thought of suicide, sometimes still do, but I am not crazy enought to attempt it.

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